Ancient Egyptians Used to Worship Cats, You Know

I never was a cat person, preferring man's best friend. Over the past 6 months, I have gotten to know a different kind of dog. Her name is Lola (if you are over 50, you immediately start singing: "she was a showgirl.") 

If you have looked at my book website, you might remember her as The Dawgy Lama. But this is not about her alter ego, it is simply about her being a dog.

Why is this significant? We all have alter egos. We choose to reside in them when hiding, working, or if needed, when spending time with family during the Holidays. But Lola doesn't ever choose to be anything but herself.

She wants to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it: eat, go outside to do her business, get some exercise, snuggle up and get some petting time, or simply find the softest spot for sleeping. It's not complicated and often it's entertaining. I have always envied this behavior and marveled at the grip dogs have on their owners. It's a dog's life.

How is your alter ego? Have you changed it during your lifetime? Does it have a name? When do you escape to be inside that altered-ness? My first kids book is about "trying on new hats" in order to find you voice and figure out who you really want to be. But your alter ego is different. 

This is a part of you that you find or develop to become a better salesperson or to be a better grown-up child to an elder parent. It is a way to get over stage fright if you are an entertainer or to simply put on a "mask" to survive loss, change, pain, or heartache. 

Wait, we just got back from Lola's daily 4:00 walk and I remembered Lola is actually a black lab in a 12 lb. body. She's strong and strong-minded, likes big dogs, dislikes little dogs, is cool to strangers, but loving to those that have been accepted into her circle. I like Lola for all these reasons and she seems to like me. Good thing she doesn't know my alter ego is a cat. (Keep a look-out for my next Blog Post - Why am I Like a Cat?)

al·ter e·go

  [

awl-ter ee-goh]

noun

1.

a second self; a perfect substitute 

2.

an inseparable friend.

3.

another aspect of one's self.

Origin: 
1530–40;  < Latin  (Cicero), probably translation of Greek állos egṓ,héteros egṓ  another "I"

Here's Looking at You Kid

This quote doesn't actually refer to an off spring, but it certainly capsulizes how I'm feeling this morning. My 26 year old son Casey is sleeping on the air mattress in our living room and I am typing in the pre-dawn darkness at the foot of the bed. Today is the day he flies off to Seattle and officially moves away from San Diego.

It's been 8 years since we moved to this county in SoCal. I have been out east in the desert and then near the beach in north county. He has been south, in La Jolla and the city. It has been a parallel existence as he has completed college, his Master's, and his first career as an Autism Lab Coordinator and Autism Intervention Specialist. And oh by the way, he started a non-profit See Beneath, Inc. to develop educational materials for autistic children. Busy boy .....

During these years we've played golf a few times, celebrated some holidays, Super Bowls, and birthdays together, gone hiking and camping a couple of times, and there has been the occasional need for Dad to help out with his car. Generally it has been a comfort of proximity and an opportunity to watch a son unfold into a great guy with a big future.

Here's looking at you kid!

The Stuff that Dreams are Made of

My book is now available to BUY for the Holidays; a great gift for all the kids in your life, all parents, teachers, grandparents ..... OK everyone should BUY my book. By the way these BUY words are active links that will jump you right to the bookstore to place your order.

So much for the unabashed marketing. Seriously, this is a new chapter in my life. I have managed to distill some of my basic philosophies into a 12 page book starring my alter ego Uncle XOQ (pronounced ZOK - like Spock).

About 5-6 years ago I was working at EXPO in Laguna Niguel and met another Dept. Supervisor during my first week. That would be Zoey Stevens. He is the illustrator of my first book and I forever indebted to him for making my characters come to life.

But more importantly, Zoey is my inspiration. Not only because I love his paintings and the messages he conveys through his art, but because he is the one that opened the door to the bird cage I was stuck in by simply saying: "you are creative, you are a writer ..... so just write." Uncle XOQ couldn't have said it any better.

Have a great and safe Holiday season and may the XOQ be with you!

We Rob Banks!

I don't really rob banks, but in your early 60's figuring out how to make more cash and planning for the next 5 years is a challenge. I never was a planner, so now I am one of the masses of Baby Boomers realizing I could have set myself up pretty good if I had:

1. Married only once
2. Never sold a house
3. Never sold a stock
4. Never left my first career as a teacher.
5. Paid 5% each check into my pension account

Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda!

The good news is I have a modest lifestyle, have company medical insurance, paid ten years into social security, haven't fallen into credit card debt, don't have a taste for toys, traveled a bit when I was younger, and my bucket list is short and affordable.

If I had to look for a job today it would be stressful. My resume is a hodge-podge of interesting, but short-term work/learning experiences in a variety of fields. My skill set is huge, my education top-notch, but I have no corporate background (not that a corporation would hire a 61 year old bald guy for a job as Program Director, Project Manager, Executive Assistant or whatever.)

I wouldn't take a sales job, bartender hours are too late into the evening, cold calling is not my thing, and even though I still have my CA Real estate license, the thought of sitting hours at open houses for other agents or taking shifts in an office waiting for walk-ins is mind numbing. And did I mention that "phone-mining" for prospects has never been my thing!

So what would I do if John Q. Customer at Home Depot got under my skin one day and I just couldn't take it anymore. If I lost my cool, flew off the handle, told him to get a life and get over his f....ing issue with his malfunctioning toilet handle, and I got fired ...... what kind of job would I look/pray for?

I'd probably comb Craigslist for non-profit admin jobs, sales coaching jobs at Garage Door companies (I actually turned one of those down when I first arrived in Oceanside), or really take a flyer and invest all my time and thousands of dollars of 0% credit card money in my children's book series "Uncle XOQ."

Maybe robbing a bank once would tide me over.

BTW .... did you see the teen on You Tube who robbed the bank and bragged about it in a home video. Americans - you got to love their lack of intelligence.

Here's Looking at You Kid

My friend Sal Diliberto sent me an email last night asking if I planned on attending anymore once-a-month Poker nights. As part of my response this morning, I told him how much I look forward to more conversations with him, sharing stories about our unique journeys. 

The first intense conversation I remember having with a friend about "who we are", was in the Coach's locker room at Princeton Day School in 1973.  As a very naive, but wise beyond my years 21 year old, Alan Taback and I had a heart felt exchange after practice one late afternoon. The details are unimportant, but the fact that I long to have open, trusted, honorable dialogue like that, one on one with people, rushed toward me today.

I find myself remembering some of my great guy friends tonight, after observing my reaction to Sal's email. There are my dear friends Bruce and Don from the Northwest, Larry from Borrego Springs and Dave from Vista. Zoey, Austin, and Swami (my step-brother) and I think of Sal in that category. Then there is the next ring of circles revolving around my story:  Kayvon, Trevor, Richard, Mark, Jud, and Marvin.

One of the koolest realities of my life is that my son Casey is the MAN! I can relate to him about everything and I have always thought of him as a friend. 

So as the evening winds to a close, I raise a glass of the very best potato vodka I have found, chilled in the freezer and sipped from my San Felipe cactus glass: Here's to my good fortune in having met some of the finest men anywhere!

I am going to end my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

                                                               Thanks for stopping by, Robby

Living Jazz

Living Jazz was just awarded a $10,000 award from the National Endowment for the Arts for our MLK Musical Tribute on Jan. 19th at the Paramount!! This is significant here because the Executive Director of Living Jazz is my sister Stacey Hoffman.

Landing a grant of this magnitude is one of many incredible accomplishments and achievements Stacey has orchestrated during her 30 years running this organization. Her programs have inspired thousands of people to include music and dance in their lives.

My character Uncle XOQ's focus of helping kids of all ages find their "voice" is a direct result of being exposed to Stacey's world. Take a moment to look at her organization's website LivingJazz.org and you will begin to see the fruits of my sister's life's work.

Congratulations Stacey!  See you at the MLK Tribute on January 19, 2013 in Oakland.

I am going to end my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

                                                               Thanks for stopping by, Robby

I'm Walking Here! I'm Walking Here!

Tic-Tac-Toe is the first game humans play that requires organized thinking. And it is interesting to observe that kids quickly learn the ways to block each other, while sacrificing their chance of success.  While placing X's and O's inside of 9 squares; winning quickly morphs into stopping your opponent.

What would happen if 35% of our representatives in Washington expressed their individuality and used another symbol like Q and placed it in a box? Simple right? It's not happening because they have become so narrow minded following the money that go them elected; not the people that elected them.

But I am headed to another conversation;  much more fun and fascinating then politics. Tip your head over to the right while looking at the word box and visualize it upside down. Write those three small letters on a napkin and turn it upside down. A new word for your to focus on today appears = xoq.

As we head towards 2013 (we'll talk about Dec 21, 2012 in another Post) everyone would benefit from out of the box thinking. Just like in nature's amazing metamorphosis of the moth to cocoon to butterfly, transform yourself, let go of assumptions, write your own script, find your Q !

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."  Thomas Szasz

I am going to end my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

                                                               Thanks for stopping by, Robby