Thanksgiving 2014

I wrote an email to some friends this morning and as the day unfolds I am moved to write more. Elley and I are headed to Del Mar on a gorgeous Thursday in San Diego. We'll be hanging out with her son Christian and many of his and her friends to break bread and watch the Seahawks! 

My thoughts on this day continue to focus on how I am thankful to be able to dwell on the vision and warmth of my conscious and aware friends who are scattered up the North American coasts. 

It sure helps to have these thoughts and feelings as I continue to work at the Home Depot in north San Diego County. It takes a lot of positive thoughts to ward off the negative vibes of the many small minded, unhappy people who shop at my store. 

Thank goodness I also have some very special workmates, with multi-cultural sensibilities from backgrounds as varied as Guam, Mexico and New Jersey. 

My current work life includes daily interactions with unintelligent, selfish, misguided humans. I am so thankful to be blessed with having a rare circle of friends to balance this out. 

My friends are giving, spiritual people, who value education, planetary vision, and peace. Their presence in my life will continue to make it possible to churn out a living for 3 more years in Oceanside.

I don't see my friends often enough, but when I retire, I will be traveling much more often to be in their company. I need to eat, sleep, drink, smoke and work by their side for weeks on end, and share their hugs and heart.

It is interesting to note that Elley and I have decided to buy a home here and make this our base of operation moving forward. We want to lock in a monthly housing cost we'll be able to afford on the gov't dole, while creating an asset that will allow us to trade our home with others around the world. We dream of living outside of the USA for months at a time, especially in Portugal, Spain, France, Italy and Greece. 

I trust this Thanksgiving has been touched by family and friends, and abundance of food, mind, body and spirit. Namaste!

A Day at the Races

I didn't go back to my home town of Port Washington for my 45th HS Reunion this past weekend because I was just in NY a couple of weeks ago for my Dad's funeral. 

But this weekend ended up being a great reunion here in SD with Casey, Zoe, Tyson, Elliot, Jake, Guerin, Jim, etc. at the See Beneath fundraiser Saturday night and Sunday afternoon at the Del Mar race track.

Instead of hanging out for a night with the kids of my youth, PJ, Wurzel, Jud, Patti, Dede, Schroeter, Marla, etc. at the Port Yacht Club, I got to enjoy these thoroughbreds: Among the Stars, Zimmer, Itz a Saint, Maybellene, Tom's Tribute, Dutch Chocolate, and Greeley Awesome.


These simultaneous happenings on opposite coasts got me thinking about my stages of life and how the people who joined me at times in my "covered wagon", bumping along my sometimes muddy, rutty road, are forever etched in my story.

I've always had a bad memory for names, so there are periods of time over the past 45 years that are very fuzzy in my gray matter. Trying to piece some of it together this morning has been another kind of reunion.

The mid 70's were my "Big Chill" years, laughing, playing, and mourning along with Sandy, Tabs, Louise, Tom, Dave T., Bones, Denby, Austin, and a amazing gang of PDS high school kids who I will never forget. They were lead by Frankie, Motts, Billy, and Bags.

During the 80's in the NW, I made life-long bonds with Brucie, Don, their Anns, Alexandra, and Gabrielle. And of course, Casey asked me to host his new life beginning in 1986.

The 90's were my main parenting years and that decade was "low-lighted" by some bad relationship/marriage choices. But 1990-1999 was filled with moments that have turned into lasting connections with some of Casey's friends and their families, including Mummy, Trevor, Marty, JJ, Jeff, Taylor, etc. GO SEAHAWKS!

The new millennia's first decade brought a change of scenery for me when I moved to the desert and beaches of SD. Along with the people I hung out with this past weekend, I made lasting bonds in that decade with Sue, Kayvon, Garrett, Robin, Moon, Bill, Tina, and Jill.

And since 2011, this has turned out to be the best decade of my life so far. I finally met the woman I always knew was out there on a parallel path. She was just flying on Planet Elley!  She has brought into my life the amazing Christian and all his great friends. And Home Depot O'side has turned out to be a surprising resource for new pals: Dave, Pam, Darlyn, Shanae, Kenzie, Marquit, and Richard.


So for a guy that used to say he didn't have a lot of friends or family, and was always known for making questionable relationship choices, the prospect for many more joyful encounters seems endless.

Here's to all of you near and far. Don't be strangers. Let's plan our next reunion!

The End of the Line

The day your father dies, many thoughts pass through your mind. He may be at peace, he may have joined his parents, he may have vanished, he may re-incarnate, or maybe none of these things happened. But he absolutely took his last breath in the early morning hours of June 23, 2014 and ceased his existence from the "known".

Here is what passed through my mind on the day my Father died.

There were some good thoughts. He was sharp and street smart. He knew what was going on in the world and he was great at reading financial reports in detail. He was good looking. He had a great head of hair. He loved to eat. Until he was 45 years old, he was a good athlete. He loved and was devoted to his parents. 

There were bad thoughts running through my mind while I scanned my brain for happy memories. They are too few, and mostly from a time when I was too young to really know him as a person. In the 50's, he was just the painting of a Father that he wanted me to see. 

We played catch in the back yard, he took me for ice cream a lot, and when I was in grade school, he got us tickets to 3 or 4 World Series games at Yankee Stadium. He took me out of classes to go to those games in the afternoon. What a Dad!

There were twisted thoughts. He meant well, but that's not really a good thing to say about someone. He said he loved me unconditionally and I certainly tested that love in the 70's and 80's. No matter what I did or said, he never stopped being my devoted Dad. But isn't that what parents are supposed to do? 

He would tell you that he was loyal and a family man. But his actions and words were in conflict. He was a good business man, very friendly with business acquaintances and great with people who were in his life to make money with him and for him. Is that a good thing?

And there were ugly thoughts. My Dad was an unhappy man; depressed and angry. 

He was very emotional, a trait lost on many men. But he was emotionally abusive. He was a generous tipper, but actually that was a selfish act, paving the way for getting you to like him and give him better service. 

He used to accuse my maternal grandfather of always trying to buy my love. I always wanted to tell my Dad, "Ye who liveth in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

My Mom had the truest thought of the day. "He could have had a better life."  

I can honestly say I learned a lot from having Ken Hoffman as my Dad. And I learned all the things you shouldn't do and it drove me to be a better man.

The bottom line is that he was my Dad and now he is gone. 

Sea World: Welcome to See Beneath

When a large corporation like "SeaWorld" gets behind your non-profit, you have reached a level of significance and impact that is to be admired. Casey, Gerin and Jim's "See Beneath Inc.," was invited by SeaWorld, Inc. to have a booth at the "4th Annual ACT Today! for Military Families Festival" at Mission Bay. 

With "SeaWorld Park" of San Diego providing the backdrop for the pop-up tents and bandstand that were framing the festival grounds, Aiko and Egor's booth drew lots of attention. As usual, the life size mascots of Aiko, Egor and Wade were a big hit with kids and their parents, who are eager to take photos of the See Beneath Mascots. 

I once again enjoyed masquerading as Aiko, and then a little later, Egor, posing for photos with the kids, "chees-ing it up" for their parent's cell phone snapshots. Registration fees for the 10K race that started at 7:00 am were donations to "ACT" = "Autism Care and Treatment" for Military Families. 

Tecolote Shores Park was decorated with banners and live music, as families strode around talking with the people in our community who provide services for autistic kids.

Most of the serious 10K runners headed for the Stone Brewery Beer Garden at 9:00 am (beer at 9 am?), but the true focus of the event was for families to learn more about San Diego's community of Autism support systems.

It's 2014 and the Team at "See Beneath" have been working overtime to release the first season of the "Aiko and Egor" teaching videos. They also are developing an APP, and as the year unfolds it may just be that the APP and the first season release at the same time.

The significance of connecting with SeaWorld and military families emphasizes the strides that have been made by the See Beneath Founders. With your continued support financially, and the opportunities at Aiko and Egor's doorstep when the first product is released, this organization will keep rolling.

I look forward to giving what I can with my time and in the future I am going to donate the proceeds of my next book "Santa's Brother". I encourage you to help in any way you can and to consider getting more involved by sharing your talents with See Beneath, Inc.

May the Force Be With You

Weekend mind-benders: 

4 people are born and 2 people die every second

You have a 1 in 700,000 chance of being hit by a meteorite

You have a 1 in 175 billion chance of winning Powerball

Every second there are 30 Super Novas, 40 lightning strikes and 11,500 Google searches

4,000 new stars are created every second

Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 they save

34 trees are cut down in rain forests every second

WalMart produces $3 billion in revenue every 7 minutes

$3,000 a second are spent on online Porn

700 people are killed by toasters a year;  9 are killed by sharks

May the Force Be With YOU!

Don't Go There!

go there? wherever you go, there you are. think; did i fool you? where were you going? there? did you think i was going to go off on some dia...rift....shit?

just crankin' the role of being' me wid-week s'all.

where will the week go from here? for sure, i'll be there when it arrives.

did i ever get your attention? don't even go there.

"Are You Not Entertained?"

A writer's dream ....... bonus time off from work (2 hours midweek feels like forever), my Macbook, beautiful weather, a comfortable chair in the shade of our patio, a creatively landscaped backyard, a bubbling fountain, a rum and coke ..... you get the picture.

A decision to write about whatever comes to mind. So what will it be? Putin? Nyet. Rand Paul? He really went there. The lost jetliner? Tragic for those passengers and their families. March Madness? Too much coverage already. (Go Harvard!)

The conversation at work today about ..... forget it. I'm off work early so I don't want to go there. 

This fast approaching weekend? Elley and I have an unusual day off together Sunday so we're going to Balboa Park to enjoy the inside and outside of San Diego's beautiful museums. Now that's worth anticipating and thinking about. 

My old friend David Turner is off to Albania to work with the Peace Corps and teach English. He's extended an open invitation to his network and I'm encouraging Elley to get her Passport so we can think about going there during the next 2 years. (Check the map it's right next to my favorite place on the planet - Greece!)

In no particular order and definitely mutually exclusive: we've been buying lottery tickets, researching a home purchase in our 55+ neighborhood, talking about the warm summer ahead and the need for more backyard shade, watching The Voice, Vikings, the new Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and The Good Wife. 

I just got back from Anza-Borrego Desert State Park, camping west of Elephant Knees with Dave. Another incredible day in the desert exploring undisturbed Earth formations. How do we know few humans have been there? We found petrified wood. Lot's of it. 

Elley and I rocked out on St. Patty's Day at O'Sullivan's in Carlsbad. The band was excellent and for a few Irish classic riffs we were the only ones jiggin' it on the dance floor.

I still haven't decided what I want to write about today. I think I'll have another rum and coke and think about it.

Good Will Hunting

Early March 2014 is a microcosm of the ongoing events of our lifetime. Swirling around the planet is religious fanaticism, invasion, slavery, and disaster. The hot spots are now the Ukraine, Malaysia, Moldova, and the USA. (See if you can match the words in the second sentence with the countries in the third.)

To stay afloat, Elley and I consume humor daily. Jimmy Fallon entertains us; so do Colbert and Jon Stewart. I enter the NY'er cartoon contest every couple of weeks, my latest is pasted here. Mentalfloss.com is a welcome source of random smiles. 

Hard news is difficult to avoid in the 24/7 onslaught of scroll on our devices. Maintaining a healthy attitude by invoking positivity and keeping it light is a challenge, but a necessity. Lola, our DawgyLama, is our best source of happiness; her unending cuteness and the unconditional love only found in the devotion of a pet. 

I can't let this week go by without commenting on the CPAC meetings. Yes, that was the minority leader of the Senate kicking-off the proceedings brandishing a rifle. The following is a great synopsis of the stupidity and antics of these elephants.

"If we were located in a different part of the world, we might be invading us."      Nation of Change, March 8, 2014

"The Republicans have become a party of radical extremism and oppression. Election stealing? Check. Agenda to keep women second class citizens?Check. Religious lawmakers who reject science and reality? Check. Lying demagogue who will say anything to gain power? Check .....   Nation of Change, March 8, 2014

And there is the ongoing ridiculous, and actually criminal notion, continually floated by the GOP. "Obamacare will destroy the greatest healthcare system in the world." Bullshit! According to the World Health Organization our healthcare system is ranked 37th! 

Click here to watch a video borrowed from the Daily Show. If you are unfamiliar with this reporter, just abide his tongue-in-cheek style and watch this to the end. Note the Fox business reporter offering a solution to poor Americans. "Just stop being poor ...."

There's No Place Like Home

Traveling brings new perspective, new stimuli, opportunities to read more, and puts you in different environments around people living in divergent communities. I just returned from 5 days away from home, split between Atlanta and NYC. I don't usually read Rolling Stone Magazine, but I bought it to read on the plane. I recommend this frightening article about the Mega Banks.

"How can you live a good life without constantly interrogating it?" (Depending on where you research, a query similar to this goes all the way back to Socrates.) The philosophy behind this quote is at the foundation of my writing and my creation of XOQ. I go through each day observing humans, and I am always trying to fit into the positive spaces created by Elley, my job, family, friends, and the circles and spirals that extend out from there. 

Just like Siddhartha, I did not learn from formal teachers and instruction. I learn from the individuals I encounter in my life. I used to be chronically "dissatisfied," but Siddhartha reminded me just enough times that I finally changed, realizing that "too much dissatisfaction obscures the potential for satisfaction." (Herman Hess). I have been listening and growing.

In Atlanta this week, at Home Depot HQ, 19 of my colleagues from around the country and I were presented the "Fish" philosophy. Choose your attitude everyday! It is based on a customer service culture developed by the employees of the world famous Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle. Click on the link I embedded HERE if you want to see the video.

Awareness and "be here now" are at the core of the fish story and are necessary for personal and business success. I have known this and tried to live it since 1980. 

Seahawks: Birds of Prey

The first play of the game was the tell. When you are the hunted, you are frightened. There is no doubt that the aggressive Seahawks were stalking the Broncos from the start. 

We enjoyed every moment of the victory while huddled with Casey's friends in North Seattle. The joy and excitement of watching the smack-down put on by the Legion of Boom was so much sweeter arm and arm with hundreds of thousands of 12th men and women in Seattle.

Our trip was a master class in immersing yourself in 48 hours of friendship and fan-dom. We soaked up Pike Place Market in the morning. We drove by the stadium and walked the streets listening to the chants of the morning crowds warming up for the attack. We feasted on wings and Bloody Mary's, warding off the chill of the early afternoon by absorbing the of hugs from old friends and the building heat of the wood burning stove.

I was very confident that the script would go very much like it did. The landslide came early and the outcome only seemed in doubt because our brains told us we have seen comebacks before. But the truth is this game was decided 2 weeks ago, even before the NFC title game. The sore loser 49'er fans would have experienced the same result against Denver if our season series was 1-2 against them. Both NFC finalists can bring this kind of warrior dominance to the final game.


In 2014, it is us! We have waited, cheered, flinched, and wondered if we would finally get our ring. And now that we have it, it is ours forever. Go Hawks!

Are Broncos and Seahawks Both Animals?

On Sunday we'll be in Seattle. Elley and I are flying up to be part of the mania that is the 12th man. The commitment to this team from these rabid fans is second to none in the USA. Check out this gal with a new permanent tattoo. Now that's going all in! 

We're going to join the airborne Casey, his HS friends and my "besties" Bruce and Don. Logistically, it isn't that easy in the Seattle region. There are ferries to navigate to Vashon and Whidbey and a desire to experience the thrill downtown as it reaches a crescendo pre-game in Pioneer Square while the outcome is still in doubt.

There is a tradition of watching with together. Rational, like-minded Father-Son brains melded together over the truth of this detail. We can figure out anything. And when we WIN, don't we want to go back into the belly of the beast and CELEBRATE!

OK .... in those 2 paragraphs I've exhibited the dry, colorless, wordy style that might eliminate me right away from the job I seek as a Curator for Upworthy.com. But if they happen by this page to get a read of my writing, I had better spruce it up --- as if it was WORK!

In truth, I am an eccentric chameleon and handyman, able to fit in an orange apron disguise and help you figure out anything. I can write about anything, find stuff online faster than you, and talk to you about your favorite subject. I bring you a loyal heart and an old soul. Drop by anytime and I will help you navigate from where you've been to our collective futures.

So the ads are sold; cars, beers, insurance geckos, meds, cell providers and smart device manufacturers will vie for your hard earned $$. America will sit, stand, moan about the refs, eat nachos, drink and swear, while staring at the same big screen images for 4 hours Sunday. 

It's time for the Party known as Super Bowl XLVII. 

Go HAWKS! 

(Edit) BEAST MODE! Birds of prey swooping down and attacking horses! (They don't know where they're coming from and it sure does hurt.)

NFL

Big day tomorrow; us old Seahawks fans are enjoying the ride, with Russell Wilson leading the new gang of 12. We've been watching, following, and not getting enough to cheer about since the late 70's and early 80's. Our kids grew while this was going on and now I share the experience with Casey.

We've been through a pack of All-Stars on the Seahawks: Steve Largent, Jim Zorn, Dave Krieg, Kenny Easley, Curt Warner, Brian Blades, Cortez Kennedy, Joey Galloway, Warren Moon, Walter Jones, Shaun Alexander, Matt Hasselbeck, and now Marshawn Lynch. 

We rode their backs through 33 seasons and we want back in the big game. (we were in it in 2005 - remember?)

During those same years we have seen a few of the NFL's super-athlete, multi-millionaires turn into very bad humans. There are lists of the NFL All-Felon Team, but except for the few names to follow, I won't dishonor those named above by making them share my thoughts with these guys. Who can forget: OJ Simpson, Lawrence Phillips, Rae Carruth, Ray Lewis, and Pac-Man Jones.

So 13 years after the implosion of the Kingdome, the then 24 year old former home of the 12th man, we will be watching and hoping for just the right amount of points, hits, breaks, special teams plays and take-aways to get us to the big one again. On any given Sunday .....