I'll Be Back

We just returned from South Florida. There are many items of note from this short trip to close out 2012, but I promise I won't bore you with details of visiting my aging parents. They are getting old, with the aches and pains typical of living 90 years and are taking enough medication to keep Pfiser afloat.

Yesterday, on Dec. 30, 2012, a guy 5 rows back from us on our American Airlines 777 had 2 seizures, which set the flight crew and 2 nurses that happened to be on board in motion, and eventually ended with him being escorted off the plane on foot by LAX EMT's. He lives to enjoy Obamacare so he can get more Meds too.

The morning had started with the TSA at Miami International having only one human scanner operating at 7 AM on Sunday, during what has to be one of the busiest days travel days of the year. As human cattle, we shuffled our feet, inching forward, internalizing our frustration with this tedious, incompetent process of protecting us from ..... ???

You don't dare complain, or point out the poor management by TSA, like you would if it were your local Home Depot operating one check out line. Open your mouth at a  Federal security check point and they will pull you out of line, sit you in a tiny room, and make sure you miss your flight.

One of the highlights of our 4 days was a trip to the Pompano Beach Indoor Bazaar with my Mom. We were surprised to find the Minnetonka moccasins I wanted. I had been researching this purchase for weeks at home, shocked at not being able to locate a discount wholesaler on-line, including Amazon, Ebay or even a Chinese knock-off, but with my free $20 in "Bazaar Bucks", I gotta "Shmata-Row" discount. Elley got a pair of leg hugging, Brazilian faux jeans, and we even found my Mom her jug of body wash. We had hot pastrami, gyros, cole slaw, dill pickles and knish, amongst the sounds of all-so-familiar jewish folk. We were not in Kansas (i.e. San Diego) anymore.

On our last night, we headed down to the Cavalier Hotel on Ocean Dr. in South Beach. Elley loved the sand dunes, white beach, and turquoise water. We strolled around, admiring the Art Deco architecture, renovated and restored since my youth. But we were disappointed that the beat was mostly disco fusion and the "come-on" sales pitch for happy hours and mega drinks was monotonous. It is a tourist trap and most of the people are mid-western, t-shirt clad gawkers, with no intention of indulging in the local latin culture. We didn't find Samba, discovering from the cab driver at 6:30 AM the next morning that "Little Brazil" was back up in Pompano Beach right near the Bazaar.

OY!  Who Knew!

The Cat in the Hat

I have to wear a hat when I am outside in the sun. I have a hat collection, since I have been bald since my 20's. My bald head, pre-cancerous cells there upon dictate it. I wouldn't be in this predicament if we knew back then what we know now about the danger of UV's.

Trying on new hats has been a metaphor during my life, as I have moved through my maze, reinventing myself at every turn.  And, my new book is not accidentally titled: Uncle XOQ: Try on New Hats.  There is  a good story about how that came to be, but that is for another day.

So why "The Cat in the Hat" and the previous Post about Lola and her not knowing about me being a cat. Here is the story:

At work at HD, one of my nicknames is now Dr. Seuss. One day, a fellow employee, Jewish friend coincidentally named Kat, and I were discussing my new book. She wanted to know more and asked if my books were anything like Dr. Seuss books. I said I'd like them to be, but the content is more serious and the illustrations less Alien.

Somehow the conversation turned to my saying that if Jesus lived to today, maybe writing kids books, or at least teaching kids important lessons. He might even have used his carpentry background, like I did, to end up working at HD in Oceanside. We kidded that since we have a large Mexican-American population here his name would have been pronounced "Hay-Seuss."

OK, this sounds very convoluted, but it might help knowing that Kat and I are 2 of the few Jews working at HD in O'side. We frequently chat about the local conservative, Christian, marine folks and how they think so differently than us. And how funny it would be if in there midst they new that I, the Jewish boy Robby from NY, was writing children's books and might be a bit like "Hay-Seuss" would have been. So at that moment, Kat gave me the nickname "Dr Seuss" and she wrote it on my orange apron.

So here is how this all ties together. This Cat (me) always trying on different hats and working at HD was nicknamed by this interesting woman Kat at HD, Dr. Seuss, who wrote "The Cat in the Hat." And even more amazingly and coincidentally, Ancient Egyptians worshipped cats and Lola is an Egyptian Monkey Tailed Terrier.

Let it Be

Ancient Egyptians Used to Worship Cats, You Know

I never was a cat person, preferring man's best friend. Over the past 6 months, I have gotten to know a different kind of dog. Her name is Lola (if you are over 50, you immediately start singing: "she was a showgirl.") 

If you have looked at my book website, you might remember her as The Dawgy Lama. But this is not about her alter ego, it is simply about her being a dog.

Why is this significant? We all have alter egos. We choose to reside in them when hiding, working, or if needed, when spending time with family during the Holidays. But Lola doesn't ever choose to be anything but herself.

She wants to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it: eat, go outside to do her business, get some exercise, snuggle up and get some petting time, or simply find the softest spot for sleeping. It's not complicated and often it's entertaining. I have always envied this behavior and marveled at the grip dogs have on their owners. It's a dog's life.

How is your alter ego? Have you changed it during your lifetime? Does it have a name? When do you escape to be inside that altered-ness? My first kids book is about "trying on new hats" in order to find you voice and figure out who you really want to be. But your alter ego is different. 

This is a part of you that you find or develop to become a better salesperson or to be a better grown-up child to an elder parent. It is a way to get over stage fright if you are an entertainer or to simply put on a "mask" to survive loss, change, pain, or heartache. 

Wait, we just got back from Lola's daily 4:00 walk and I remembered Lola is actually a black lab in a 12 lb. body. She's strong and strong-minded, likes big dogs, dislikes little dogs, is cool to strangers, but loving to those that have been accepted into her circle. I like Lola for all these reasons and she seems to like me. Good thing she doesn't know my alter ego is a cat. (Keep a look-out for my next Blog Post - Why am I Like a Cat?)

al·ter e·go

  [

awl-ter ee-goh]

noun

1.

a second self; a perfect substitute 

2.

an inseparable friend.

3.

another aspect of one's self.

Origin: 
1530–40;  < Latin  (Cicero), probably translation of Greek állos egṓ,héteros egṓ  another "I"

Here's Looking at You Kid

This quote doesn't actually refer to an off spring, but it certainly capsulizes how I'm feeling this morning. My 26 year old son Casey is sleeping on the air mattress in our living room and I am typing in the pre-dawn darkness at the foot of the bed. Today is the day he flies off to Seattle and officially moves away from San Diego.

It's been 8 years since we moved to this county in SoCal. I have been out east in the desert and then near the beach in north county. He has been south, in La Jolla and the city. It has been a parallel existence as he has completed college, his Master's, and his first career as an Autism Lab Coordinator and Autism Intervention Specialist. And oh by the way, he started a non-profit See Beneath, Inc. to develop educational materials for autistic children. Busy boy .....

During these years we've played golf a few times, celebrated some holidays, Super Bowls, and birthdays together, gone hiking and camping a couple of times, and there has been the occasional need for Dad to help out with his car. Generally it has been a comfort of proximity and an opportunity to watch a son unfold into a great guy with a big future.

Here's looking at you kid!

The Stuff that Dreams are Made of

My book is now available to BUY for the Holidays; a great gift for all the kids in your life, all parents, teachers, grandparents ..... OK everyone should BUY my book. By the way these BUY words are active links that will jump you right to the bookstore to place your order.

So much for the unabashed marketing. Seriously, this is a new chapter in my life. I have managed to distill some of my basic philosophies into a 12 page book starring my alter ego Uncle XOQ (pronounced ZOK - like Spock).

About 5-6 years ago I was working at EXPO in Laguna Niguel and met another Dept. Supervisor during my first week. That would be Zoey Stevens. He is the illustrator of my first book and I forever indebted to him for making my characters come to life.

But more importantly, Zoey is my inspiration. Not only because I love his paintings and the messages he conveys through his art, but because he is the one that opened the door to the bird cage I was stuck in by simply saying: "you are creative, you are a writer ..... so just write." Uncle XOQ couldn't have said it any better.

Have a great and safe Holiday season and may the XOQ be with you!

We Rob Banks!

I don't really rob banks, but in your early 60's figuring out how to make more cash and planning for the next 5 years is a challenge. I never was a planner, so now I am one of the masses of Baby Boomers realizing I could have set myself up pretty good if I had:

1. Married only once
2. Never sold a house
3. Never sold a stock
4. Never left my first career as a teacher.
5. Paid 5% each check into my pension account

Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda!

The good news is I have a modest lifestyle, have company medical insurance, paid ten years into social security, haven't fallen into credit card debt, don't have a taste for toys, traveled a bit when I was younger, and my bucket list is short and affordable.

If I had to look for a job today it would be stressful. My resume is a hodge-podge of interesting, but short-term work/learning experiences in a variety of fields. My skill set is huge, my education top-notch, but I have no corporate background (not that a corporation would hire a 61 year old bald guy for a job as Program Director, Project Manager, Executive Assistant or whatever.)

I wouldn't take a sales job, bartender hours are too late into the evening, cold calling is not my thing, and even though I still have my CA Real estate license, the thought of sitting hours at open houses for other agents or taking shifts in an office waiting for walk-ins is mind numbing. And did I mention that "phone-mining" for prospects has never been my thing!

So what would I do if John Q. Customer at Home Depot got under my skin one day and I just couldn't take it anymore. If I lost my cool, flew off the handle, told him to get a life and get over his f....ing issue with his malfunctioning toilet handle, and I got fired ...... what kind of job would I look/pray for?

I'd probably comb Craigslist for non-profit admin jobs, sales coaching jobs at Garage Door companies (I actually turned one of those down when I first arrived in Oceanside), or really take a flyer and invest all my time and thousands of dollars of 0% credit card money in my children's book series "Uncle XOQ."

Maybe robbing a bank once would tide me over.

BTW .... did you see the teen on You Tube who robbed the bank and bragged about it in a home video. Americans - you got to love their lack of intelligence.

Here's Looking at You Kid

My friend Sal Diliberto sent me an email last night asking if I planned on attending anymore once-a-month Poker nights. As part of my response this morning, I told him how much I look forward to more conversations with him, sharing stories about our unique journeys. 

The first intense conversation I remember having with a friend about "who we are", was in the Coach's locker room at Princeton Day School in 1973.  As a very naive, but wise beyond my years 21 year old, Alan Taback and I had a heart felt exchange after practice one late afternoon. The details are unimportant, but the fact that I long to have open, trusted, honorable dialogue like that, one on one with people, rushed toward me today.

I find myself remembering some of my great guy friends tonight, after observing my reaction to Sal's email. There are my dear friends Bruce and Don from the Northwest, Larry from Borrego Springs and Dave from Vista. Zoey, Austin, and Swami (my step-brother) and I think of Sal in that category. Then there is the next ring of circles revolving around my story:  Kayvon, Trevor, Richard, Mark, Jud, and Marvin.

One of the koolest realities of my life is that my son Casey is the MAN! I can relate to him about everything and I have always thought of him as a friend. 

So as the evening winds to a close, I raise a glass of the very best potato vodka I have found, chilled in the freezer and sipped from my San Felipe cactus glass: Here's to my good fortune in having met some of the finest men anywhere!

I am going to end my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

                                                               Thanks for stopping by, Robby

Living Jazz

Living Jazz was just awarded a $10,000 award from the National Endowment for the Arts for our MLK Musical Tribute on Jan. 19th at the Paramount!! This is significant here because the Executive Director of Living Jazz is my sister Stacey Hoffman.

Landing a grant of this magnitude is one of many incredible accomplishments and achievements Stacey has orchestrated during her 30 years running this organization. Her programs have inspired thousands of people to include music and dance in their lives.

My character Uncle XOQ's focus of helping kids of all ages find their "voice" is a direct result of being exposed to Stacey's world. Take a moment to look at her organization's website LivingJazz.org and you will begin to see the fruits of my sister's life's work.

Congratulations Stacey!  See you at the MLK Tribute on January 19, 2013 in Oakland.

I am going to end my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

                                                               Thanks for stopping by, Robby

I'm Walking Here! I'm Walking Here!

Tic-Tac-Toe is the first game humans play that requires organized thinking. And it is interesting to observe that kids quickly learn the ways to block each other, while sacrificing their chance of success.  While placing X's and O's inside of 9 squares; winning quickly morphs into stopping your opponent.

What would happen if 35% of our representatives in Washington expressed their individuality and used another symbol like Q and placed it in a box? Simple right? It's not happening because they have become so narrow minded following the money that go them elected; not the people that elected them.

But I am headed to another conversation;  much more fun and fascinating then politics. Tip your head over to the right while looking at the word box and visualize it upside down. Write those three small letters on a napkin and turn it upside down. A new word for your to focus on today appears = xoq.

As we head towards 2013 (we'll talk about Dec 21, 2012 in another Post) everyone would benefit from out of the box thinking. Just like in nature's amazing metamorphosis of the moth to cocoon to butterfly, transform yourself, let go of assumptions, write your own script, find your Q !

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."  Thomas Szasz

I am going to end my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

                                                               Thanks for stopping by, Robby

Round up the Usual Suspects

I am going to start all my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

                                                               Thanks for stopping by, Robby

Jerry Harmon  is a former Mayor and council member in Escondido and a life long environmentalist. I met him at The Home Depot in South Oceanside a few years back when he began to remodel a home nearby. He is active in the Sierra Club, and serves on the boards of the League of Conservation Voters-San Diego, and  is a member of the Water Quality and the Reveal the Creek Committees.

Last night was his annual Holiday Party on Fire Mountain and he was, as always, a gracious host. There was lots of food, wine, and I had the opportunity to get to know some of his amazing friends. These are people who care about the environment, their community, and preserving the quality of life in North San Diego County.  My friends Dave and Pam Scarbrough were also there and I got caught up with Dave's first week at Precision Printers. And you should have seen how amazing Elley looked in her high leather boots!  Wow-zer!

I have, I want to, acknowledge that my desire to find a community I feel connected to, and people I enjoy at many levels, has happened in 2012 in Oceanside, CA. I thought it was impossible. I was wrong, and I am happy I was wrong.

May the Force be with You

I am going to start all my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

Thanks for stopping by,  Robby

Elley and I had a most stimulating, although admittedly at times stressful, conversation last night at TGI Friday's. It carried over to our drive home and then into the later evening at our pad. Our topic of discussion is well described by this Post's title, "May the Force be with You" and can be attributed to the movie we saw last week "Life of Pi". 

Revealing my thoughts about God is easy for me, as I have been comfortable in this skin since my early 20's. I don't believe in any fable about God and have always described my spirituality as being akin to that of native peoples of North America. As Elley and I explored this beautiful movie's theme and message, I get hung up on any person's use of creating an imaginary story to help cope with life's miseries. 

Clearly Pi was traumatized by the events surrounding the sinking of the ship and the truth about what occurred on the lifeboat. The brutal loss of his Mother, after that ship had already sank taking the rest the rest of his family with it, eventually found him weaving a replacement tale about wild animals who ended up on the lifeboat with him. The relationship he conjured up with the fierce tiger became the hinge upon which survived.

My wish is that people would simply cope by being strong, being realists and moving forward with lesons learned from trauma. Placing your journey in the hands of imaginary beings and stories is an un-evolved way to go through this life.

Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore

I am going to start all my posts with the following request: "I promise to make my Posts shorter, if you promise to scroll down to read older Posts you may have missed." 

Thanks for stopping by,  Robby

Friday night is party night and tonight we celebrate my good friend Dave Scarbrough's departure from our local HD. Why are we celebrating his departure? We enjoyed getting to know him and working with him, and we are always elated when one of "our own" finds greener pastures!

Dave is a gifted photographer. He and I have inspired each other to pursue our art. It was remarkable to find such a talented guy at HD. This is one of his photos of Borrego Springs; during our Elephant Knees climb on the south side of Split Mountain. We have explored the Anza-Borrego Desert and Mountain State Park together on a number of camping/hiking trips. Such fun!

Last night, a small group of us met at TGI Fridays. Although the company was grand, the restaurant/bar leaves much to be desired. It is a tired, uninspiring place that used to be a Andersen's restaurant complete with windmill. But it was great to see part of the gang from the Pro Desk, sprinkled with some Tina and Patrick. Pam and Dave were all smiles as they embark on a great new chapter in their lives.

Pam is setting up her new studio and Dave has joined forces with many old printing industry friends. Another Beginning in their mid-50's!