The End of the Line

The day your father dies, many thoughts pass through your mind. He may be at peace, he may have joined his parents, he may have vanished, he may re-incarnate, or maybe none of these things happened. But he absolutely took his last breath in the early morning hours of June 23, 2014 and ceased his existence from the "known".

Here is what passed through my mind on the day my Father died.

There were some good thoughts. He was sharp and street smart. He knew what was going on in the world and he was great at reading financial reports in detail. He was good looking. He had a great head of hair. He loved to eat. Until he was 45 years old, he was a good athlete. He loved and was devoted to his parents. 

There were bad thoughts running through my mind while I scanned my brain for happy memories. They are too few, and mostly from a time when I was too young to really know him as a person. In the 50's, he was just the painting of a Father that he wanted me to see. 

We played catch in the back yard, he took me for ice cream a lot, and when I was in grade school, he got us tickets to 3 or 4 World Series games at Yankee Stadium. He took me out of classes to go to those games in the afternoon. What a Dad!

There were twisted thoughts. He meant well, but that's not really a good thing to say about someone. He said he loved me unconditionally and I certainly tested that love in the 70's and 80's. No matter what I did or said, he never stopped being my devoted Dad. But isn't that what parents are supposed to do? 

He would tell you that he was loyal and a family man. But his actions and words were in conflict. He was a good business man, very friendly with business acquaintances and great with people who were in his life to make money with him and for him. Is that a good thing?

And there were ugly thoughts. My Dad was an unhappy man; depressed and angry. 

He was very emotional, a trait lost on many men. But he was emotionally abusive. He was a generous tipper, but actually that was a selfish act, paving the way for getting you to like him and give him better service. 

He used to accuse my maternal grandfather of always trying to buy my love. I always wanted to tell my Dad, "Ye who liveth in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

My Mom had the truest thought of the day. "He could have had a better life."  

I can honestly say I learned a lot from having Ken Hoffman as my Dad. And I learned all the things you shouldn't do and it drove me to be a better man.

The bottom line is that he was my Dad and now he is gone. 

Sea World: Welcome to See Beneath

When a large corporation like "SeaWorld" gets behind your non-profit, you have reached a level of significance and impact that is to be admired. Casey, Gerin and Jim's "See Beneath Inc.," was invited by SeaWorld, Inc. to have a booth at the "4th Annual ACT Today! for Military Families Festival" at Mission Bay. 

With "SeaWorld Park" of San Diego providing the backdrop for the pop-up tents and bandstand that were framing the festival grounds, Aiko and Egor's booth drew lots of attention. As usual, the life size mascots of Aiko, Egor and Wade were a big hit with kids and their parents, who are eager to take photos of the See Beneath Mascots. 

I once again enjoyed masquerading as Aiko, and then a little later, Egor, posing for photos with the kids, "chees-ing it up" for their parent's cell phone snapshots. Registration fees for the 10K race that started at 7:00 am were donations to "ACT" = "Autism Care and Treatment" for Military Families. 

Tecolote Shores Park was decorated with banners and live music, as families strode around talking with the people in our community who provide services for autistic kids.

Most of the serious 10K runners headed for the Stone Brewery Beer Garden at 9:00 am (beer at 9 am?), but the true focus of the event was for families to learn more about San Diego's community of Autism support systems.

It's 2014 and the Team at "See Beneath" have been working overtime to release the first season of the "Aiko and Egor" teaching videos. They also are developing an APP, and as the year unfolds it may just be that the APP and the first season release at the same time.

The significance of connecting with SeaWorld and military families emphasizes the strides that have been made by the See Beneath Founders. With your continued support financially, and the opportunities at Aiko and Egor's doorstep when the first product is released, this organization will keep rolling.

I look forward to giving what I can with my time and in the future I am going to donate the proceeds of my next book "Santa's Brother". I encourage you to help in any way you can and to consider getting more involved by sharing your talents with See Beneath, Inc.

May the Force Be With You

Weekend mind-benders: 

4 people are born and 2 people die every second

You have a 1 in 700,000 chance of being hit by a meteorite

You have a 1 in 175 billion chance of winning Powerball

Every second there are 30 Super Novas, 40 lightning strikes and 11,500 Google searches

4,000 new stars are created every second

Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 they save

34 trees are cut down in rain forests every second

WalMart produces $3 billion in revenue every 7 minutes

$3,000 a second are spent on online Porn

700 people are killed by toasters a year;  9 are killed by sharks

May the Force Be With YOU!

Don't Go There!

go there? wherever you go, there you are. think; did i fool you? where were you going? there? did you think i was going to go off on some dia...rift....shit?

just crankin' the role of being' me wid-week s'all.

where will the week go from here? for sure, i'll be there when it arrives.

did i ever get your attention? don't even go there.

"Are You Not Entertained?"

A writer's dream ....... bonus time off from work (2 hours midweek feels like forever), my Macbook, beautiful weather, a comfortable chair in the shade of our patio, a creatively landscaped backyard, a bubbling fountain, a rum and coke ..... you get the picture.

A decision to write about whatever comes to mind. So what will it be? Putin? Nyet. Rand Paul? He really went there. The lost jetliner? Tragic for those passengers and their families. March Madness? Too much coverage already. (Go Harvard!)

The conversation at work today about ..... forget it. I'm off work early so I don't want to go there. 

This fast approaching weekend? Elley and I have an unusual day off together Sunday so we're going to Balboa Park to enjoy the inside and outside of San Diego's beautiful museums. Now that's worth anticipating and thinking about. 

My old friend David Turner is off to Albania to work with the Peace Corps and teach English. He's extended an open invitation to his network and I'm encouraging Elley to get her Passport so we can think about going there during the next 2 years. (Check the map it's right next to my favorite place on the planet - Greece!)

In no particular order and definitely mutually exclusive: we've been buying lottery tickets, researching a home purchase in our 55+ neighborhood, talking about the warm summer ahead and the need for more backyard shade, watching The Voice, Vikings, the new Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and The Good Wife. 

I just got back from Anza-Borrego Desert State Park, camping west of Elephant Knees with Dave. Another incredible day in the desert exploring undisturbed Earth formations. How do we know few humans have been there? We found petrified wood. Lot's of it. 

Elley and I rocked out on St. Patty's Day at O'Sullivan's in Carlsbad. The band was excellent and for a few Irish classic riffs we were the only ones jiggin' it on the dance floor.

I still haven't decided what I want to write about today. I think I'll have another rum and coke and think about it.

Good Will Hunting

Early March 2014 is a microcosm of the ongoing events of our lifetime. Swirling around the planet is religious fanaticism, invasion, slavery, and disaster. The hot spots are now the Ukraine, Malaysia, Moldova, and the USA. (See if you can match the words in the second sentence with the countries in the third.)

To stay afloat, Elley and I consume humor daily. Jimmy Fallon entertains us; so do Colbert and Jon Stewart. I enter the NY'er cartoon contest every couple of weeks, my latest is pasted here. Mentalfloss.com is a welcome source of random smiles. 

Hard news is difficult to avoid in the 24/7 onslaught of scroll on our devices. Maintaining a healthy attitude by invoking positivity and keeping it light is a challenge, but a necessity. Lola, our DawgyLama, is our best source of happiness; her unending cuteness and the unconditional love only found in the devotion of a pet. 

I can't let this week go by without commenting on the CPAC meetings. Yes, that was the minority leader of the Senate kicking-off the proceedings brandishing a rifle. The following is a great synopsis of the stupidity and antics of these elephants.

"If we were located in a different part of the world, we might be invading us."      Nation of Change, March 8, 2014

"The Republicans have become a party of radical extremism and oppression. Election stealing? Check. Agenda to keep women second class citizens?Check. Religious lawmakers who reject science and reality? Check. Lying demagogue who will say anything to gain power? Check .....   Nation of Change, March 8, 2014

And there is the ongoing ridiculous, and actually criminal notion, continually floated by the GOP. "Obamacare will destroy the greatest healthcare system in the world." Bullshit! According to the World Health Organization our healthcare system is ranked 37th! 

Click here to watch a video borrowed from the Daily Show. If you are unfamiliar with this reporter, just abide his tongue-in-cheek style and watch this to the end. Note the Fox business reporter offering a solution to poor Americans. "Just stop being poor ...."

There's No Place Like Home

Traveling brings new perspective, new stimuli, opportunities to read more, and puts you in different environments around people living in divergent communities. I just returned from 5 days away from home, split between Atlanta and NYC. I don't usually read Rolling Stone Magazine, but I bought it to read on the plane. I recommend this frightening article about the Mega Banks.

"How can you live a good life without constantly interrogating it?" (Depending on where you research, a query similar to this goes all the way back to Socrates.) The philosophy behind this quote is at the foundation of my writing and my creation of XOQ. I go through each day observing humans, and I am always trying to fit into the positive spaces created by Elley, my job, family, friends, and the circles and spirals that extend out from there. 

Just like Siddhartha, I did not learn from formal teachers and instruction. I learn from the individuals I encounter in my life. I used to be chronically "dissatisfied," but Siddhartha reminded me just enough times that I finally changed, realizing that "too much dissatisfaction obscures the potential for satisfaction." (Herman Hess). I have been listening and growing.

In Atlanta this week, at Home Depot HQ, 19 of my colleagues from around the country and I were presented the "Fish" philosophy. Choose your attitude everyday! It is based on a customer service culture developed by the employees of the world famous Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle. Click on the link I embedded HERE if you want to see the video.

Awareness and "be here now" are at the core of the fish story and are necessary for personal and business success. I have known this and tried to live it since 1980.