This post is dedicated to my sister Lauren. Much of what I have learned, wrestle with daily, and ultimately has me pushing optimism to the front of my consciousness is rooted in her struggle with dis-ease, her desire for normalcy, and her eventual death at 29.
Lauren's passing inspired me to give back. I could not let her struggle with MS end without being changed. Her life taught me so much about death, people, and living. The realization after her passing that I had an experience and gained knowledge that was a gift from Lauren, ultimately lead me to co-founding Hospice of Central Arizona in 1981. Hospice was not very well known in America at that time. Now Hospice care is one of the medical care choices for families struggling with a diagnosis of "no hope of survival".
Another choice that has yet to be added to the list of options for patience and families is planning the end of life. Dr. Jack Kevorkian died recently and his passing should remind us all that dying with dignity, dying when a person chooses to die rather than spending the last days, weeks, months in pain, with no hope for survival, should be added to the list of options.
If you have not lost someone who died in a coma, or died in so much pain that they were heavily medicated and out of it, or died after loosing all bodily functions, or the worst kind of death, died paralyzed, unable to speak or move but able to hear and think and realize what was happening, then you probably don't want to believe that Dr. Jack's decision to provide medically assisted death was the work of a good Doctor who had added a tool of compassion to his medical practice.
I have used the quote "They shoot horses don't they" in response to questions about the decision to end life by choice. While trying to make a point to people who think it unethical, un-religious, immoral, or whatever their fear has them deciding makes it a horrible thing, I was never talking about assisted suicide driven by depression, as was Robert who shoots Gloria in the novel and movie by the same name. When the character Robert is asked about the shooting, his simple response is, "They shoot horses don't they."
Humans go to the Vet to put their beloved dog, cat or horse out of its misery for many things, some less painful and awful that what humans allow their loved ones to go through before death. The reason for this is actually quite simple. Humans put the lives of humans above the value of the life of all the other animals on the planet. This is arrogance of the most elevated kind. Humans have decided that larger brain capacity, walking on two legs, and the use of the thumb somehow means a human life cannot be terminated as an act of mercy.
Think about it.
Goodbye Dr. Jack. Thanks for answering the call when people asked for your help. Thanks for taking up a cause you believed in and were willing to go to jail for. I wish I had met you in 1979 when it was clear to me that Lauren was suffering and I wished I could help her pass on.
Every time you see a butterfly, think about the innocence and release of the people you knew who are gone in body, but not in spirit.
Lauren's passing inspired me to give back. I could not let her struggle with MS end without being changed. Her life taught me so much about death, people, and living. The realization after her passing that I had an experience and gained knowledge that was a gift from Lauren, ultimately lead me to co-founding Hospice of Central Arizona in 1981. Hospice was not very well known in America at that time. Now Hospice care is one of the medical care choices for families struggling with a diagnosis of "no hope of survival".
Another choice that has yet to be added to the list of options for patience and families is planning the end of life. Dr. Jack Kevorkian died recently and his passing should remind us all that dying with dignity, dying when a person chooses to die rather than spending the last days, weeks, months in pain, with no hope for survival, should be added to the list of options.
If you have not lost someone who died in a coma, or died in so much pain that they were heavily medicated and out of it, or died after loosing all bodily functions, or the worst kind of death, died paralyzed, unable to speak or move but able to hear and think and realize what was happening, then you probably don't want to believe that Dr. Jack's decision to provide medically assisted death was the work of a good Doctor who had added a tool of compassion to his medical practice.
I have used the quote "They shoot horses don't they" in response to questions about the decision to end life by choice. While trying to make a point to people who think it unethical, un-religious, immoral, or whatever their fear has them deciding makes it a horrible thing, I was never talking about assisted suicide driven by depression, as was Robert who shoots Gloria in the novel and movie by the same name. When the character Robert is asked about the shooting, his simple response is, "They shoot horses don't they."
Humans go to the Vet to put their beloved dog, cat or horse out of its misery for many things, some less painful and awful that what humans allow their loved ones to go through before death. The reason for this is actually quite simple. Humans put the lives of humans above the value of the life of all the other animals on the planet. This is arrogance of the most elevated kind. Humans have decided that larger brain capacity, walking on two legs, and the use of the thumb somehow means a human life cannot be terminated as an act of mercy.
Think about it.
Goodbye Dr. Jack. Thanks for answering the call when people asked for your help. Thanks for taking up a cause you believed in and were willing to go to jail for. I wish I had met you in 1979 when it was clear to me that Lauren was suffering and I wished I could help her pass on.
Every time you see a butterfly, think about the innocence and release of the people you knew who are gone in body, but not in spirit.
Robby Hoffman
I think this is one of your best posts yet. Very heartfelt and real. I wonder what the viewpoint of others is on Dr. Jack? Seems to me that he stood up for what he believed in on a very controversial topic, which is extremely courageous and noble.
ReplyDeleteI am hopeful we will hear from others with reactions and feelings - thanks for chiming in
ReplyDeleteIn the Illness Profit industry it's more profitable to keep sick people alive and sick, so not surprised that we don't have the legal right to choose our passing without the stigma of suicide. I've been attendant for a few dog passings. Yet another gift that they give us, riding the edge of 3-D as they silently say goodbye and thanks for all the good times. It's just a primitive planet Robby! Can't expect too much from disconnected life forms that don't even see fairies!
ReplyDeleteRobby,
ReplyDeleteI love the topics that dwell in your mind. I big fan of Dr. K, myself. Sad hes not here any longer as well. Life, is a crazy thing that people who live in fear are not willing to make the decision to let it end. Most people cant get their heads around the simple fact that we are all going to die, someday, of something, no matter what. I think it has alot to do with the culture as well. i could go on and on with boring commentary, ill just say, what you wrote was beautiful...as expected.
Robby ... great writers are great not because of their writing, but because of their thinking. Your piece on Dr. Jack was deeply thoughtful and truly heartfelt. Well done and well put.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. I wish we had formed a group to ask for Dr. Jack's release from prison. His life served a purpose though by highlighting this "choice" denied by most laws. And they "put down" dogs in pain! Thanks Robbie for sharing. Minerva, your friend
ReplyDeleteVery moving piece. One almost has to ask the question whether we love our animals less or more than our fellow humans? I watched my Mother die a slow horrible death. I could not watch my German shepherds suffer and had two of them put down. The pain was all mine. So who really mattered more? I’d like to say my Mother but if actions speak louder than words I’m not totally sure of that.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I called in Hospice for my Mom, and they were wonderful. For my Mother and for Susie and me.
The best,and keep up the good writing.
Jud