Sunday, May 15, 2011

You Can't Handle the Truth

I raised my son on the foundation of the basic principle that "the only constant in life is change." It helped us through a number of realities: why his parents got divorced, why the dog died, why we lived in so many different houses. Constant change early in life makes it easier to adapt to loss and the eventual transitions all humans go through: starting High School, breaking up with you first love, and your Grandfather's death, are shared events that come to mind.

The downside of constant change in life is that somewhere inside your soul/spirit you learn to keep your distance and don't fully connect with people, places and things. Commitment issues may arise because you develop a natural defense mechanism that is geared to maintaining an easily accessible escape hatch.

Most humans adapt to conditions and environment while the brain builds a complex psychological and emotional web of responses to try to control "cause and effect". Humans with more developed intellectual perspectives tend to think their way through life's roller coaster, while humans who respond emotionally, whether it be sanguine or melancholy, ride the waves laughing, crying, crashing, and tumbling.

I used to be very judgmental about people who wear their emotions on their sleeves, because, like Spock and Data, it all seemed very unproductive. I wanted facts, truths, answers, and clarity. At some point in my 30's I began to realize that my traumatic early life had me locking down my vulnerability and throwing away the key. Having lived through big changes that included the divorce of my parents, the loss of my sister to MS, and as a young teacher the untimely death of 2 of our most popular student/athletes, I was living in my head and could not access my heart.

If it is a fact that change in the universe is constant, inevitable, and is the fabric of existence, than it is no wonder humans struggle to find peace and harmony. We spin through space and time, while the very ground we stand on is unstable. If humans fully embraced the notion that we have no semblance of control, would humans be happier? If we eliminated concepts like "mine" and "ours", if we shared all the resources on the planet with every human having equal access to water and minerals, would there be fear and greed?

Tim Badonsky in his piece, "The Notion of Nothingness" informs us that:

"When I hear the phrase "there will always be ....... war, poverty, stupidity, etc.", I find it difficult not to see those mouthing that phrase as children, intellectually speaking. For accepting one's own mortality is something that usually comes late in adulthood (if it does), and a persistent unwillingness to accept the universality of change seems to be little more than another level of immaturity ........"

The notion that a mature human would necessarily understand, accept, and be at peace with death, or that only a human with child-like intelligence would believe that there always will be anything, is a judgmental view suggesting the theory that with enough education and experience a human would evolve to knowingness.  
From my perspective, the acceptance of the inevitable (aka CHANGE) creates so much FEAR in humans that billions of people have given over their inevitability to gods, or former humans that they have elevated to god status (see Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, etc.)

No amount of worship is going to change the scientific fact of change, but there is something to the notion that too much acceptance of the inevitable makes living as a fully engaged human, with all its simple pleasures like love and hope, more difficult.

1 comment:

  1. I love this piece! It always seems to come down to living with both/and, with paradox - on a kind of razor's edge of nonattachment and love, endless Becoming and also the mystery of endless Being, which is the source of all change. Nothing about it is easy!

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